episode 1 – Bollywood

I could not understand why my wife was so moerig when I got home this afternoon.She was busy sorting through my onderbroeks and swearing in guterati. Now I know Mondays are washing day and my job is to at least to hunt my onderbroeks from underneath the bed or from behind the couch and put it in the washing basket. I tell you I realised something erg is verkeerd and if I dont make the right moves there and then, then mother-in-law will be here in no time. Daai special mix masala EXTRA HOT, trane in die oe, is not called Mother-in-law mix for nothing. She and all the aunties will be in tow to come and see what’s wrong but mainly to come to bring my dear Laksmi to her senses and marry a good indian boy from a good family. Oo blog dinges is all I could think.So I said ” ag o my bloggie my enigste laksmi” ” I love you more than a hoender boudjie vir padkos”Fury turn to tears in matters of seconds. Now I have learnt that as in any Bollywood movie the plot moves fast so this was to be expected and that is why this boerseun isn’t so stadig (slow) anymore. I grabbed the oppurtunity and in no time we add a Sari to the pile of washing. (BTW remind me to tell the readers how to quickly unravel a sari.) It was all over before her Mother and all the aunties en ooms could finished half a macarena on the tune of Celine Dion on my voorstoep.

It was then that my Laksmi tjie confessed to me. Lying there naked draped over the week’s washing and slowly sucking a dunhill menthol and stroking some sensitive parts of my upper body, that she thought it very unfair that I sit in front of the blogge all the time and she feel so afgeskeep.

It must have been Celine Dion in the background that made me tell her that I will dedicate a whole long blog just to her and I will spent the rest of my days doing boggerall except looking in her dark brown eyes while she  play SIMS on the computer. No I also want a blog she says. O blog dinges dog ek hier kom kak.  But immediately when she see my expression turn to horror I quickly said Yes yes yeees. “Promise promise me ” she yelled excitingly jumping up and down her pert little titties making movements that you would never see in any Bollywood movie.

Well I think her blogging would do wonders to keep her mother of my voorstoep for a while.

Yours truly

Luigi Armand